Mrs Edwards had often suggested that we should take up dancing but frankly it had never really appealed to me. I much preferred to shamble around the dance floor embarrassing my offspring and amazing bystanders with the degree to which my limbs could move apparently independently from my rest of body. But ahead of having to waltz in Lehar’s Merry Widow, I thought I really ought learn a few steps – I was halfway there because, for a number of years now, I have been able to count to three and breathe at the same time (see ladies, men can multi-task!). As it happened, in the end the dancing in Merry Widow had to be choreographed to ensure that we were facing the front of the stage whenever we were singing, so I needn’t have bothered learning dance steps! Nevertheless, the Edwards combo started taking lessons and judging by our dance teacher’s reactions, most people do not try to start with Viennese Waltz. Now, to my amazement, I am really enjoying our regular dance lessons which have grown to encompass a wide range of Latin and Ballroom dances. Of course, Mrs Edwards uses our dancing as an excuse to acquire even more shoes but unfortunately for her, none of them have reinforced steel toe-caps.

Practising in between lessons is a problem as our house doesn’t have a ballroom. We’ve had limited success with modifying our dance routines to fit around the furniture and the dogs go berserk whenever we tango in the kitchen. We also tried waltzing on the lawn on a beautiful balmy summer evening (there was one) but grass is not an ideal surface and we were both on the wrong side of a bottle Nuits St George at the time which probably didn’t help. Our very patient and long-suffering dance teacher despairs of my inability to flex my knees properly – especially in the tango. In fairness, this isn’t laziness but is due to a lack of cartilage (listen carefully and you can hear the sound of bone grinding on bone). Regrettably, I abused my body when I was younger by falling off mountains, doing ridiculous things on skis and playing hockey. My surgeon tells me I have the knees of an eighty-year-old, so if any of you know who this eighty-year-old is, please tell me because I’d like my own knees back now.

Ant and Erin we may not be, but then, we are doing this strictly for fun! My advice (as if you need it) is don’t put it off – if you’ve always fancied having a go, then do it before the zimmerframe gets in the way.

http://www.pawlandance.co.uk/index.htm